Trio

1 -
That's not it. That's not how it goes.

Who said there was a rul..

I did. I fucking did. I make the rules in my life and you follow them or you get the hell out of my way.

Don't you think you need to calm down just a little? Don't you think you are overreacting?
No. Not one bit. Do you know what it feels like to be addicted? Do you? Do you know what it feels like to be addicted and not be able to do anything about it but continue to feed the addiction day after day after a long night? My life is a damn mess. I move from one addiction to a recovery and into another addiction to beat the next one. Booze to come down from cocaine. Sex to come down from heroin. Exercise to come down from theft. Marriage to come down from the hookups and back to affairs to end the monotony of monogamy.

I can't deal with this.
Who said you had to?

I've been with your for over 5 years now and supported you and stood by you, but not any more.

What made you stay so long? Pleasant conversation? My good looks? I haven't loved for a long time and you shouldn't need me to say it to your face to know that. When you walk in the door night after night and I walk right by you into the garage till the next morning and you don't do a goddamn thing? What kind of person are you to take that? Just go. Go back to your job. Go back to raising your kids and leave me alone.

2 -
Ah, yes.
Can I help you?
Yes. I'm here to join the church.
What church are you coming from?
Coming from? None. No. No. You misunderstand me. I heard about your church and how you can have multiple wives and stuff, so I want you to hook me up with a couple.
I'm sorry, but you are in the wrong place. We are not that type of organization and that practice is...
Look. I know that's what you say to the press and to the police, but I've seen the compounds. I've seen the tv shows. I know it goes on and I just want a couple wives. Not together you know. One in New York and one in California. Because I go back a forth a lot. That's how it works right? You can get me a wife in both places and cover it up from the cops so they won't charge me with any crimes.
Sir. You're going to have to leave. You really have the wrong information. Whatever you have heard or read or seen has been a lie.
Tweerp.
Excuse me?
Tweerp. Basket. Five
Sir?
Tweerp. Basket. Five. Thousand.
Ok then. We are in business. If you'll just go around the corner and through that door. Doris will be able to show you around and let you meet some of the congregation. Bless you son and welcome.

3 -
It's about time. Trudging past the cars tonight. Daylight heading past accountability. I move slow and with no purpose. End result brings no joy. Brings no faith. New faces appear on the side of the road looking for the next meal. Every hand out wishes it was someplace else and every eyes averted wish they were too. I feel nothing as I pass. No sorrow. No pity. The worst kind of feeling - ambivalence.

It just is

A family I know is going through some times. Multiple cancers in the family history and now a terminal one in the present. Divorce of a child who by all means cannot take care of himself. But this family comes from a strong religious background steeped in prayer and by all views from afar, a chaste life. A moral life.

You say to no one in particular. 'They are such a religious and pious family. How can this happen to them? Weren't their prayers answered?' The thing is, just because you pray and believe in a religious figure, it doesn't give you immunity from life. Bad situations are going to happen to everyone. Had this family had no religious background, you might be saying 'See it serves them right. If they had been in church praying this whole time instead of out...well you know. It wouldn't have happened' Just exactly how do you know that? If I take two people and line them up against the wall. Fire bullets dead center into both. One on the left is the Pope. One on the right is a homeless man holding a bottle of Jack Daniels, a pack of cigarettes and pulling his grocery cart of life. Both men are going to die. The bullets will not be deflected by the Pope's prayers. Nor will homeless man's obliviousness to the situation.

That is what I struggle with on a daily basis and realize just how lucky I am not to have to need to fall back on deity to get me through the day. When I am out of work, will the phone magically ring because I want it to? When I can't make the payment for the car, will the money just show up on my doorstep like some cobbler fairy tale? No. It won't and life should not be led with the expectation of the unexpected.

You decide

You are in line at a traffic light facing East. Cars in front and cars behind. Your two children are strapped into their car seats in the back seat. As you wait, a car headed South goes out of control in traffic, flips and is headed straight for your car. You know for a fact that this car is going to come down on top of your car and kill all the occupants. You see it coming and have a 3 second window to make a decision. Immediately bolt out of the car and save your life but not your kids or stay in the car and die with your children. Which do you choose?

Song of

You know that song that goes through your head as you are getting in the shower? Not the one that's playing on the radio as you're brushing your teeth. The one that is in your head as you pull back the shower curtain, turn on the water and step periously over the tub side and into the wall. Falling on your ass. Cracking your head open as the hot water streams down on your chest. Blood goes down the drain, past your hand, across your leg. The song? Worst ever. No intro. No chorus. No post. Just random segments of last three bars of an instrumental merged together with the opening credits to a bad sitcom. So horrible it wakes you up. You turn off the shower. Wipe away the blood, brush your teeth and go to work. As you get off the escalator, a saxophonist in the subway plays your song, but only the last 5 bars and in 3/4 time and not 1/4 time.

They know

Last week I found out the mystery of life really isn't. Everybody else knows the secret. They just are keeping it to themselves and refuse to tell you.

5 minutes of Freedom

Stay away from me. Just stay away. Don't come near me and try and call me. Don't pretend that you know me from past experiences. Don't say hi and expect anything in return. It isn't going to happen.

5 minutes of Freedom

If you could go back, you wouldn't really, would you? You'd stay exactly where you are and keep going forward. I mean, what's the point of going back? When you get there, you wouldn't know what the hell to change and think of all the time you would lose. 42 year old man in 2010 tries to go back to 1984 and high school memories, but ends up looking like a pervert because he's now a 42 year old man in 1984 hanging around a high school parking lot trying to find Tammy Webster and her amazing breasts.