Anyone got a clue to who wrote this story?

Look I don't give a shit about getting published. I just want this bullshit off my plate so I can keep writing. I have absolutely no intention of following up on these submissions, but I'm going to keep sending them out and you can keep sending them to the garbage or rejecting me. There's an old story, can't recall writer or name. Writer has all these incredible stories, but he can never get them published. Fantastic put Shakespeare in his place good. But every one he has to burn in the fireplace on some condition. That's my goal.

Sleep paralysis awakens

Last night, the sleep paralysis came to me. Only this time it was different. This time it was in a dream and it wasn't happening to me. It was happening to a version of me in the dream. And this time my life was in danger. As the paralysis set in, a large animal like object attached itself to my back. It's head starting at my left shoulder and extending all the way down my back. Claws gripped into my left shoulder and my back turned freezing cold. The kind of cold you feel when you lay down as a slab in the morgue. It stayed until I realized I wanted to see the creature. I wanted to know what was attached to my body. I reached and reached around. But as I turned to the side to see the creature, the paralysis ended, the warmth instantly returned to the my back and the weight disappeared.

Cops

They came to her neighbor's house the other night. They waited a total of :24 before knocking down the door and discovering the couple inside on the floor in a pool of water. Set up for the party that was supposed to start around 11 pm. They shot them in the heads anyway. Pushed them down in the water to make it look like drowning, then dragged their bodies to the back yard, lit up the entire 12th avenue block while they dug. A patrol passed by the alley, got out, asked if they needed any help and moved on. Actually stopped a guy who ran a stop sign three blocks away. By 12 am, the hole was dug, the door still stood open broken, the pool gushed down into the basement and the first guests arrived. Cops held up the badges, took them all down town for tresspassing and held them the next 48 hours without legal representation or charges then released them en masse without a word of explanation. That girl? A guy she started with on her first day at the office, Jhonny, was looking into her window stalking her like he does every night waiting for that .5 second glance when she walked back from the bathroom to her bedroom. Sometimes the towel was there. Sometimes it wasn't. But always he waited inside his apartment with the 250mm telescope aimed right there.

Snuggie Cult

2 January 2009
It is a cult. And it frightens me. Frightens me that people would wrap themselves up in blanket willingly with sleeves. At a sporting event. Do they want to be friars? Do they want to be in a cult? What message do they want to convey and why would they choose informercials as a way to get their message across? What hidden messages are they sending? I can see, and apparently so have many others as evidenced by the You tube posts, why the women and children might be wrapped up, but the men? It just looks wrong period. In the home. In the office. Anywhere really. If you have bought one, I'd like to know why. If you have worn them at a sporting event, I'd like to know how you got home? Only thing missiing is a fanny pack on your waist and a blue tooth on your ear. There we go. That's how they are found. Fanny packs on their waist, wrapped in the Snuggie and a blue tooth to communicate with all of the other cult members when it's time for the final solution to be implemented.