Notes

-Normally I don't get nostalgic or melancholy about small rural Eastern-European cities. But this week I did and in an unexpected way. On the show Bizarre Foods, the host travels to Hungary. Well, I've lived there so the hook is in. Let's see where this goes. He starts in Buda, travels to the Pest side and keeps talking about the bizarre foods upcoming. I'm hoping he heads out of the city for real bizarre foods. But it's like hoping the CEO at your company won't get a 20% raise while layoffs are happening in your division. He could go to Pécs or Táborfalva or Lake Balaton or Kaposvár or speed through Taszár. They had abandoned factories, Trabant's, deep rich awful coffee and drunks keeping the bars open during the day too. He stays, tells a good story but I'm left still hoping he makes it out of the city.

-Sleep paralysis is something I've had all my life. The constricting feeling as you lay in bed of not being able to wake up and not go to sleep and not able to move is awful. Sheer panic sets in as you struggle for either option. Add in the hallucinations that occur leave you screaming at the top of your lungs for someone to help you wake up. In these cases I've heard footsteps coming down the stairs and pass by, seen a little old lady troll at the end of the couch with mole on her chin and knives in her hand cackling at me. Then slowly walk up my chest and get closer to my neck with the knives. I've seen a murderer come into my house go upstairs to my kids bedrooms with a shotgun and I lay there helpless. I hear the back door open as he leaves and finally I can wake up. My only consolation that it didn't happen is that it wasn't my kids weekend with me. They were at their mom's.

In all these times I've known that it is coming and can't do anything about it. Last night was different though. Last night it didn't happen until I woke up. My prior dream was about a long lost girlfriend who I'd just recently run in to. Letting me stay at her place while I was in town but being very overly devoted to her husband. Over conversations with her brothers, a radio report came in that there was a car accident that killed a local football team. The conversation turned to the real accident that happened in Indiana where a family on their way to a funeral was rammed and 7 people were killed - http://www.dailyherald.com/article/20111028/news/710289884/. When I brought up the dream accident, everyone looked away and wouldn't talk to me or look me in the eye. Later I inferred they were looking away because I was in the accident. That's where the dream ended. As I wake up, the hallucination happened as an invisible set of feet of a 1 year old baby stood on my hip, ran down my leg and off into the ether.

Notes

-Picked up the new book by Chuck Palahniuk, found Phil Hendrie podcasts, new album by Tom Waits hits this week.

-On the drive to work, I plug in to the Phil Hendrie show on Podcast and it makes the commute painless. Over the weekend, I sat and listened to part of the show with my son and I had to fight to hold back the truth about the show. Let him figure it out on his own.

-On the way home, the homeless guy underneath the underpass at Damen and Webster approaches my car at the stop sign. Doesn't say anything. Just stands there like he's guarding the sign with his cart full of cans. I ease forward and in the rear view mirror he's no longer by the sign. He's made his way over the concrete barrier and has made his bed.

-On the way to the haunted house with my kids and their friends,stop at McDonald's drive thru. Actually break down and go through the drive thru no matter how much I hate it. A guy in a Packers jersey and baseball cap backwards approaches my car while I'm paying. 'Can you help me out? My wife is over there on the corner and our car just broke down. We need someone to help me fix a flat.' Normally I don't stop. Too many propositions at the L or Blockbuster when they existed. Guilt? No. I don't feel it. Just confidence that I'm doing the right thing. I mean, if your car breaks down and you are with your family, is your first thought to hit up the people waiting in line at the fast food restaurant? At the corner I see one woman waiting for...the bus.

Esquire

Recently Esquire magazine posted a short story competition. Very short. Every story submitted must be exactly 78 words. The issue for me wasn't finding a story that short it was deciding which one to submit. These two didn't make the cut:

1) It's about the next time. Trudging past the cars tonight. Daylight heading past accountability. I move slow and with no purpose. End result brings no joy. No faith. New faces appear on the side of the road looking for the next meal. Every hand out wishes it was someplace else and every eye averted wish too. I feel nothing as I pass. No sorrow. No pity. Only angst, exhaustion and ambivalence. Next time I will stop seeing them.
2)
Ground level shot on an empty pill bottle. Tight close-up of the writing on the bottle reads 1000 mg, 24 capsules, 2 refills. Slow zoom out and four other bottles come in to view. Mid-level shot of all bottles and they lead to a bedroom door. Light appears in the vacant space below. Scuffling can be heard. Somebody is falling. A crash happens, a lamp breaks, a light bulb explodes and the light under the door goes out.

Best of...

Live music in Chicago - The Hideout. Catch Robbie Fulks every Monday night.

Best live theatre - Neo Futurarium at Foster and Ashland in Chicago. Catch the main show Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind or any show for that matter. Buy their t-shirts and hope you go on a night when they order out for free pizza for the entire audience.

Best military deployment - Tie between basic training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina and Operation Joint Endeavor in Taszar/Kaposvar, Hungary.

Best rock concert and also the best weekend spent on $50 - 1995. Rolling Stones at Strahov Stadium, Prague, Czech Republic. All food, all drinks, all transportation from Germany and back. Plus the two beautiful women who showed me around Prague. And no they weren't hookers.

Best Burger - You can't get it anymore but for a time it was and remains #1. To get it you had to make the trek up the 250+ steps to the top of Mount Baldhead in Saugatuck, Michigan, down the sand dune, up the sand dune and out to Lake Michigan. Spend 4 hours in the sun and surf and the ripping waves. Fall asleep on the beach and then get hungry. Head up the wooden steps and up the to the concession stand. With the sun beating down on your back, the taste of sand, sweat and suntan lotion in your mouth, order the cheeseburger. One for you and one for someone else. Either your kid or just grab somebody else to share because you can't really enjoy it without sharing just how good it tastes. Kuma's Corner on Belmont in Chicago is on the verge but hasn't made it yet.

Best proliferation of a food chain that is actually comforting - Einstein Brother's Bagels now serving at the Southport, Belmont and Diversey L stops.

Best writing assignment - You might think getting to cover the Bill Clinton arrival at Taszar, Hungary along with sharing a flatbed with Dan Rather or covering the Bill Clinton arrival at the Boy Scout Jamboree at Fort A.P.Hill, Virginia. But in actuality it was opportunity to write a regular column for the long ago military newspaper American Endeavor. The freedom to have creativity in a command situation was unbelievable. I thank my Staff Sergeant and Captain for giving me the opportunity.