You must think that there is only a world of darkness that exists. that only pain seeps through, but that is not the case. I don't plan for either emotion and refuse to fight the ones that do show. I'm happy when things are happy and down when choices bring me there. There is no magic wand that gets waved to make it go away and there isn't anything you can pray for or say or do to change that. It just has to happen. For reasons I will never know and never find out. Until later just by happenstance that the reasons become clarified.
The other day I'm walking to the library as usual and I see a woman with a child in a carriage. She's drinking coffee, talking on her cell phone and pushing the pram up the sidewalk. Idyll times from a afar, but not envious for me. I reflect back to my times with those and even then my work overshadowed my enjoyment of them. But no longer. Going forward, the money is less important, the job is secondary to the life I want to enjoy with my kids. I want to get back to being a parent instead of just a sideline viewer. And that's what they need as well. They need someone to make decisions and that I can and will do.
So take the words that don't come fast and churn them in your
No comments:
Post a Comment