Listening hard on the way to work and it never fails to hear the bile coming from your mouth.
Here's what I heard on the drive in this morning:
'Got a letter here from a J. Posnanski about the game last night...' and then pretends to read a 'letter' from someone he claims he doesn't know and is just a casual listener to the show. With no hint of sarcasm or knowing wink to the audience that he really does know the person. A tone that could obviously be employed. Excuse me while I hurl.
First off, there is no way that a letter gets to your offices in the morning commenting on a game played last night.
Second, you know who Joe Posnanski is. You have been in the sports business a long time. He was a senior writer at Sports Illustrated and nationally renowned writer. If you don't know or haven't heard, you do no homework in your job. Don't lie to the audience and pretend you don't know who he is. Why would you lie to your audience that you neither know nor have heard of Joe Posnanski Mike? What has he done to you personally or what have your bosses told you to do to obfuscate the truth? It wouldn't have been so difficult to say this, 'Reading a tweet from Joe Posnanski former writer for Sports Illustrated...' or 'I'm reading Joe Posnanski's blog and he says...' or 'We got a text from Joe Posnanski today...'. But no. That would not be the case. Instead we get the continual lie and shots straight down the corporate middle. We don't have 6 seconds in our show to say who Joe Posnanski is to some of the audience who may not know.. A show 4 hours every day that never takes a single position or makes a statement without qualifiers or concessions to the other view point. Congratulations Mike. You've now rise up to Mike Gr's. level.
19 May 2012
Halfway to Hell
Things that may happen, but I'll never live to see them:
-A woman elected president
-A manned mission to Mars
-Existence of Aliens and ghosts definitively proven
-A life immortal
-A third officially recognized gender
-The end of racism
-Unemployment rate below %1
-A good politician and a true word from your government
-My marriage to Morgan Fairchild or Mary Roach
A stem in the tide of the elimination of personal freedoms
The weight-loss overnight pill solution
The scientific solution that that world has been waiting for - Highway road material that needs no repair. This is the solution the world needs and where our scientific efforts should be focused. And why? Because it affects the everyday lives of millions of people. Drugs, medicine, doctors, health regimens, cures for diseases - All pointless. They deal with the esoteric line in the sand that life can be extended if only you take this pill. If only you have this surgery. Busy work for people who have a belief in the nobleness of helping others. Millions of years, people survived, procreated, gave birth, died without the benefit of medicine. People will continue for millions more.
No different than prayer. In the end, you can't prevent death. so your ultimate work is pointless. In the end, your god will take your life. But a highway without planned obsolescence. That would affect the today and now.
A tollway, bonds paid off, that becomes a freeway
Teleportation
A country population that is 80% non-white Hispanic and 80% owned by China
Since 1974 when I first started the journey toward awareness of things happening in the future. I believe it may have been later but it was the little girl sitting on the edge of the shore with her father and the familiar tune of 'Alcoa can't wait. We can't wait for tomorrow'. They imbued me with with the sense that something was just around the corner but we're not waiting to make that turn. We are making changes now. I've reached the point when tomorrow will never come. I won't be looking around the corner with hope. I won't be waiting for the delivery that the politician promised. I won't be listening to politicians at all. The most I can hope for is to become a progressive in my small little world and control the little matters.
-A woman elected president
-A manned mission to Mars
-Existence of Aliens and ghosts definitively proven
-A life immortal
-A third officially recognized gender
-The end of racism
-Unemployment rate below %1
-A good politician and a true word from your government
-My marriage to Morgan Fairchild or Mary Roach
A stem in the tide of the elimination of personal freedoms
The weight-loss overnight pill solution
The scientific solution that that world has been waiting for - Highway road material that needs no repair. This is the solution the world needs and where our scientific efforts should be focused. And why? Because it affects the everyday lives of millions of people. Drugs, medicine, doctors, health regimens, cures for diseases - All pointless. They deal with the esoteric line in the sand that life can be extended if only you take this pill. If only you have this surgery. Busy work for people who have a belief in the nobleness of helping others. Millions of years, people survived, procreated, gave birth, died without the benefit of medicine. People will continue for millions more.
No different than prayer. In the end, you can't prevent death. so your ultimate work is pointless. In the end, your god will take your life. But a highway without planned obsolescence. That would affect the today and now.
A tollway, bonds paid off, that becomes a freeway
Teleportation
A country population that is 80% non-white Hispanic and 80% owned by China
Since 1974 when I first started the journey toward awareness of things happening in the future. I believe it may have been later but it was the little girl sitting on the edge of the shore with her father and the familiar tune of 'Alcoa can't wait. We can't wait for tomorrow'. They imbued me with with the sense that something was just around the corner but we're not waiting to make that turn. We are making changes now. I've reached the point when tomorrow will never come. I won't be looking around the corner with hope. I won't be waiting for the delivery that the politician promised. I won't be listening to politicians at all. The most I can hope for is to become a progressive in my small little world and control the little matters.
13 May 2012
Art of the dumped
This sucks. It really does. But it seems there is no formula or pill to getting someone out of your system except time. It's like a ferocious hangover when you care about someone and are rejected. You keep checking for emails for texts but nothing ever comes. You can't pick up the phone and call because there really is nothing left to say except you handing over your ego and groveling. You should move on. You know you should move on. You have to move on but you can't.
I can only imagine how it feels when you not only get dumped but they go away without giving you a reason. At least that was there so there is some solace. Introducing someone else may help in the short term but if you are still chemically connected to your thoughts of this other person, it's hard to focus.
I can only imagine how it feels when you not only get dumped but they go away without giving you a reason. At least that was there so there is some solace. Introducing someone else may help in the short term but if you are still chemically connected to your thoughts of this other person, it's hard to focus.
27 March 2012
Phone book
I had been working with Kristen for 6 months. We worked great together and she told me all about her husband and her little daughter and her happy life and now she was leaving to take another job.
Perfect. She was a great worker and I would recommend her on Linked in.
I wished her well and told her to give me a call if she ever needed a reference for a job. Fact is, the team would struggle for awhile without her.
'Thanks. It was great working with you too. ' is what I expected her to say and what she did say in an email. But then she added:
'Oh and by the way. Why don't you come over and fuck me?'
Wait what? Did I just read that right? Was that some kind of subconscious thought I wasn't supposed to hear? How am I supposed to respond to that? You are supposed to say nothing, act like she never said it. Take it as a compliment and move on. Like a normal moral person does. Problem is that I don't have that moral capacity. Even though I found nothing remotely attractive about her, I found out where her next job was. Got in touch with her when she was separated, drove 13 hours to Noth Carolina and did what she wanted.
Three other married women later and the moral compass is still not working. The attraction to someone you know is with someone else is easy. It's not about whether they are obtainable or
not. That's never the goal.
In my office there was another woman who had been dating a married man for 12 years. She was now 29. The guy was now 44. Through the walls of the cubicles she laid out her story daily in detail.
Each day right before noon the tears would start. Sometimes just a few. Sometimes just one or two. Sometimes she left for the day. On the day he was killed in a car accident on his way to take her to lunch, she didn't cry at all. She couldn't go to the funeral. She couldn't get drunk at the wake. She wouldn't be getting any of his life insurance money. But most of all, she wouldn't be crying before noon anymore. On the day he was killed in a car accident, she laughed.
Possession is an ugly word. Is Marriage an ugly word? For many it does imply possession and entitlement. If that's marriage then yes it's ugly. Why can't people just enjoy being together? Live in separate houses, meet up when they feel like it with no pressure. Because people want that legal committment that says I am with you. If you are ever in the hospital, I will be there for you. If I need someone to make a life altering decision for my life that I can't make, I want you to make that for me. When tax time comes I want that deduction. When you want to leave, it's going to take some time because it should. People need an explanation even if they don't understand. When we go someplace, I want people to know that I am with not just someone, but you. When the car won't start, I'm calling you for a jump. When the kids come home from college, they are staying at our house and not spending it on the highway shuffle. You should have to want to work through the ennui. Through the boredom. Through the anger and fights to find the cocaine of life. The sweet spot that comes with sharing more than just a cup of coffee.
But back to my original thought is that there isn't a national known female figure that we can point to who holds a leading position, all by her own doing, not because she married someone powerful or is the girlfriend of a powerful leader or was married to a leader and that leader died so she filled a void. No there just isn't a woman leading the national discourse. There was one national leader in Madalyn Murray O'Hair, but I wouldn't really classify her organization in the same light. I'm talking about a uniter. A strong female that brings all sides together in their hatred of blacks, hispanics, asians and especially jews. The racist movement is soley partriarchial driven. The thoughts emerge from the men. They are progressed by men. They include women but only as an ncillary afterthought. Where is she? Where is this blonde female germanic power of the white race that can unite the separatists on her own? I don't believe she exists or ever will.
It also got me thinking about just what a life would be like if the white supremacists got their way and had a white's only society for themselves in this day an age. Let me break it down. They couldn't eat any food purchased at a supermarket because %100 percent of it is created by a mixing of the races. They can't watch tv - You know. The Jews. Listen to the radio - because of what's on it and where the radios are made. Certainly not a whites-only operation. Use the internet? It was created and is run by non-whites. Drive a car? Not if you want to go anywhere. Try finding one with only parts fully made by whites. You will have the first one. And a house or apartment? Non-whites had %100 percent contribution to your living quarters. I forgot clothing. They can't wear any store bought clothing. None of it is made by whites only.
So where does this leave our white's only society? Naked, living in the forest foraging for food
at all hours of the day and night, living under a shelter of sticks and trying to figure out a way to keep the predators at bay during the night because they can't find a rifle or pistol that was
only made by white's. A bleak existence but it's there for you. White's only though.
Perfect. She was a great worker and I would recommend her on Linked in.
I wished her well and told her to give me a call if she ever needed a reference for a job. Fact is, the team would struggle for awhile without her.
'Thanks. It was great working with you too. ' is what I expected her to say and what she did say in an email. But then she added:
'Oh and by the way. Why don't you come over and fuck me?'
Wait what? Did I just read that right? Was that some kind of subconscious thought I wasn't supposed to hear? How am I supposed to respond to that? You are supposed to say nothing, act like she never said it. Take it as a compliment and move on. Like a normal moral person does. Problem is that I don't have that moral capacity. Even though I found nothing remotely attractive about her, I found out where her next job was. Got in touch with her when she was separated, drove 13 hours to Noth Carolina and did what she wanted.
Three other married women later and the moral compass is still not working. The attraction to someone you know is with someone else is easy. It's not about whether they are obtainable or
not. That's never the goal.
In my office there was another woman who had been dating a married man for 12 years. She was now 29. The guy was now 44. Through the walls of the cubicles she laid out her story daily in detail.
Each day right before noon the tears would start. Sometimes just a few. Sometimes just one or two. Sometimes she left for the day. On the day he was killed in a car accident on his way to take her to lunch, she didn't cry at all. She couldn't go to the funeral. She couldn't get drunk at the wake. She wouldn't be getting any of his life insurance money. But most of all, she wouldn't be crying before noon anymore. On the day he was killed in a car accident, she laughed.
Possession is an ugly word. Is Marriage an ugly word? For many it does imply possession and entitlement. If that's marriage then yes it's ugly. Why can't people just enjoy being together? Live in separate houses, meet up when they feel like it with no pressure. Because people want that legal committment that says I am with you. If you are ever in the hospital, I will be there for you. If I need someone to make a life altering decision for my life that I can't make, I want you to make that for me. When tax time comes I want that deduction. When you want to leave, it's going to take some time because it should. People need an explanation even if they don't understand. When we go someplace, I want people to know that I am with not just someone, but you. When the car won't start, I'm calling you for a jump. When the kids come home from college, they are staying at our house and not spending it on the highway shuffle. You should have to want to work through the ennui. Through the boredom. Through the anger and fights to find the cocaine of life. The sweet spot that comes with sharing more than just a cup of coffee.
But back to my original thought is that there isn't a national known female figure that we can point to who holds a leading position, all by her own doing, not because she married someone powerful or is the girlfriend of a powerful leader or was married to a leader and that leader died so she filled a void. No there just isn't a woman leading the national discourse. There was one national leader in Madalyn Murray O'Hair, but I wouldn't really classify her organization in the same light. I'm talking about a uniter. A strong female that brings all sides together in their hatred of blacks, hispanics, asians and especially jews. The racist movement is soley partriarchial driven. The thoughts emerge from the men. They are progressed by men. They include women but only as an ncillary afterthought. Where is she? Where is this blonde female germanic power of the white race that can unite the separatists on her own? I don't believe she exists or ever will.
It also got me thinking about just what a life would be like if the white supremacists got their way and had a white's only society for themselves in this day an age. Let me break it down. They couldn't eat any food purchased at a supermarket because %100 percent of it is created by a mixing of the races. They can't watch tv - You know. The Jews. Listen to the radio - because of what's on it and where the radios are made. Certainly not a whites-only operation. Use the internet? It was created and is run by non-whites. Drive a car? Not if you want to go anywhere. Try finding one with only parts fully made by whites. You will have the first one. And a house or apartment? Non-whites had %100 percent contribution to your living quarters. I forgot clothing. They can't wear any store bought clothing. None of it is made by whites only.
So where does this leave our white's only society? Naked, living in the forest foraging for food
at all hours of the day and night, living under a shelter of sticks and trying to figure out a way to keep the predators at bay during the night because they can't find a rifle or pistol that was
only made by white's. A bleak existence but it's there for you. White's only though.
12 March 2012
The line is thin
The thin line that separates humans from humanity scares me. Scares me to the core. I've been close to that line and the pain and agony of that proximity was too much. Had I gone over the line, I don't really know that I would have been able to come back at all.
My life was changed over the weekend dramatically by the people that I met. People I want to work with. People I like. People I want to get to know more. People I might work with. And potentially people that I might need help from someday. That's the thin line. And it is definitely drawn.
I realize now I don't need to go to Africa or Australia or South America to find the hole that needs to be filled. I found compassion and hope. I found wandering souls connected by more than just coincidence. The hole is here. I just have to keep filling it in. I don't need to spend 3 years on a mission, selling everything I own before I leave or just plain giving it away which is what I would probably do. That may happen anyway.
Hope doesn't help. Hope doesn't bring joy. It brings tears. It brings wistfulness. Hope is angst. Hope is unknowing. Hope is potential. Hope is the fluttering of a heartbeat as you lean in for the first kiss. Hope is never enough.
My life was changed over the weekend dramatically by the people that I met. People I want to work with. People I like. People I want to get to know more. People I might work with. And potentially people that I might need help from someday. That's the thin line. And it is definitely drawn.
I realize now I don't need to go to Africa or Australia or South America to find the hole that needs to be filled. I found compassion and hope. I found wandering souls connected by more than just coincidence. The hole is here. I just have to keep filling it in. I don't need to spend 3 years on a mission, selling everything I own before I leave or just plain giving it away which is what I would probably do. That may happen anyway.
Hope doesn't help. Hope doesn't bring joy. It brings tears. It brings wistfulness. Hope is angst. Hope is unknowing. Hope is potential. Hope is the fluttering of a heartbeat as you lean in for the first kiss. Hope is never enough.
05 March 2012
Finding Bigfoot = Gilligan's Island
I started watching this show, Finding Bigfoot, when it began. Intrigued many times by tales of the unknown (Well, except for the JFK conspiracies and the Art Bell show. But can you blame me? That's good radio), but never fully buying in, I've come to make this show a must watch each week. But I couldn't figure out why. Why was such bad television compelling? The same pretext (a photo or blurry video or dated memory) led the team to the sites and each episode contains a trip to the woods with no tangible results and ends with the same resolution - 'Well we may not have found anything, but you can't say we didn't tell a good story'. And as one of the hosts so succinctly put it, 'Just because there isn't any physical evidence to support what she saw doesn't mean that the experience didn't happen in her mind. And that's what is really important. We are validating that she did indeed have an experience. With what we can't really say, but something'
Or this exchange:
Present day 2011
[Host] Tell me what happened.
[storyteller - Man in his mid 40's] Well, I was riding my bike after dinner one night with my best friend from school... (And at this point, what? What 40 year old man goes out after dinner regularly and rides bikes with his best friend from school. Ok. I'll go with his. Small town. Possible that he has kept a friendship going that long. Please continue Mr. Storyteller]
...and we came around the corner. It was just about dusk and we saw this gigantic creature going through the garbage. We were scared so we got back on our bikes and headed home as fast as we....
(Ok. What? You are a 40 year old man and you see this giant animal going through people's garbage and you don't stay around to see what it is?. This is getting odd. Continue)
could.
[Host] And it was over by that tree there?
[storyteller] Actually no. The tree is long gone and the neighborhood has been built up. You have to remember this was 1974 and I was about 8 years old.
(Oh for fucks sake. This has got to be the worst..._)
And that's when it hit me what it was. A show I watched every afternoon after school. A show that was funny even without the laugh track. This show is Gilligan's island. Bigfoot is the rescue boat that they can never get. The people they meet each week are the celebrities who come to the island and the cast - really well picked.
Gilligan - Bobo obviously. A buffoon who contributes antics but little else. ..... Pals around with the Skipper, falls down, makes lots of noises and has a special hat that he wears in each episode.
The Professor - Renae. Critical, objective scientist who refuses to play along with the game and accept the numerous theories thrown out by the team. Offers a counterpoint but still can't figure out how to get off the island. Mostly because she likes what the island has to offer.
Ginger - Matt Moneymaker. The starlet, the one who everyone should look to. The Alpha in his mind. It's his group, his show and the show should revolve around him.
Mary Ann - Cliff. You really want to like this guy. You want to think he's different from Matt, he's humble and could be your next door neighbor. But he isn't. Same as Ginger just less overt.
The Howell's - The Producers putting this show together with all their money
The Skipper - The Seen but never mentioned extra cameramen always on each night trip and the editor in charge of designing the show. The Wizard of Oz if you will.
And the weapons. Why do they not carry a single munitions based weapon? You are in the woods hunting for an exotic mythical animal that may or may not be friendly. You offer yourself no protection in the event that it really doesn't want to shake your hand when it meets you but eat it instead. In this sense, they have crossed over into the Timothy Treadwell area and have no respect for boundaries. If they did, their night woods investigations would consist of two groups in tree stands making as little noise as possible, no walkie talkies and no leaving at 2 am each morning instead of staying the whole night.
The lack of fear is there because there is nothing to fear.
The key is that they never, ever find bigfoot. Not only should they never find bigfoot, they should never find any tangible evidence that a bigfoot exists. Hint at, show traces of possibilities, glimpses of psychosis, but never ever find the bigfoot.
Never ever find a boat to get off the island even though you are visited each week by people who do get off the island.
And should there ever be irrefutable evidence, deny, deny, deny. Play up the hypocrisy large. During the lead up, every single trace of evidence is proof of a bigfoot. When the evidence is clear, say that 'We can't be sure. We can't really trust this. We are going to need to see more proof before we believe this.' Because when they do find bigfoot, the show's over. As they say each week, some of they have been at this for 25 years. 25 years of failure. 25 years of waste and no ROI. 25 years of getting exactly what they want.
Or this exchange:
Present day 2011
[Host] Tell me what happened.
[storyteller - Man in his mid 40's] Well, I was riding my bike after dinner one night with my best friend from school... (And at this point, what? What 40 year old man goes out after dinner regularly and rides bikes with his best friend from school. Ok. I'll go with his. Small town. Possible that he has kept a friendship going that long. Please continue Mr. Storyteller]
...and we came around the corner. It was just about dusk and we saw this gigantic creature going through the garbage. We were scared so we got back on our bikes and headed home as fast as we....
(Ok. What? You are a 40 year old man and you see this giant animal going through people's garbage and you don't stay around to see what it is?. This is getting odd. Continue)
could.
[Host] And it was over by that tree there?
[storyteller] Actually no. The tree is long gone and the neighborhood has been built up. You have to remember this was 1974 and I was about 8 years old.
(Oh for fucks sake. This has got to be the worst..._)
And that's when it hit me what it was. A show I watched every afternoon after school. A show that was funny even without the laugh track. This show is Gilligan's island. Bigfoot is the rescue boat that they can never get. The people they meet each week are the celebrities who come to the island and the cast - really well picked.
Gilligan - Bobo obviously. A buffoon who contributes antics but little else. ..... Pals around with the Skipper, falls down, makes lots of noises and has a special hat that he wears in each episode.
The Professor - Renae. Critical, objective scientist who refuses to play along with the game and accept the numerous theories thrown out by the team. Offers a counterpoint but still can't figure out how to get off the island. Mostly because she likes what the island has to offer.
Ginger - Matt Moneymaker. The starlet, the one who everyone should look to. The Alpha in his mind. It's his group, his show and the show should revolve around him.
Mary Ann - Cliff. You really want to like this guy. You want to think he's different from Matt, he's humble and could be your next door neighbor. But he isn't. Same as Ginger just less overt.
The Howell's - The Producers putting this show together with all their money
The Skipper - The Seen but never mentioned extra cameramen always on each night trip and the editor in charge of designing the show. The Wizard of Oz if you will.
And the weapons. Why do they not carry a single munitions based weapon? You are in the woods hunting for an exotic mythical animal that may or may not be friendly. You offer yourself no protection in the event that it really doesn't want to shake your hand when it meets you but eat it instead. In this sense, they have crossed over into the Timothy Treadwell area and have no respect for boundaries. If they did, their night woods investigations would consist of two groups in tree stands making as little noise as possible, no walkie talkies and no leaving at 2 am each morning instead of staying the whole night.
The lack of fear is there because there is nothing to fear.
The key is that they never, ever find bigfoot. Not only should they never find bigfoot, they should never find any tangible evidence that a bigfoot exists. Hint at, show traces of possibilities, glimpses of psychosis, but never ever find the bigfoot.
Never ever find a boat to get off the island even though you are visited each week by people who do get off the island.
And should there ever be irrefutable evidence, deny, deny, deny. Play up the hypocrisy large. During the lead up, every single trace of evidence is proof of a bigfoot. When the evidence is clear, say that 'We can't be sure. We can't really trust this. We are going to need to see more proof before we believe this.' Because when they do find bigfoot, the show's over. As they say each week, some of they have been at this for 25 years. 25 years of failure. 25 years of waste and no ROI. 25 years of getting exactly what they want.
04 March 2012
Baseball. More.
As I sat in a temporary Army tent in Taszar, Hungary in 1996, the professional baseball landscape changed. Intra-league baseball was being introduced and I was against it. Then and now. Now ever more so with the introduction of the MLB network, baseball packages, direct tv. The rule still applies. If you want to watch Seattle Mariner's baseball from Logansport, WestVirginia on a daily or weekly basis you have the option. I didn't care to watch Kansas City vs Montreal then and I don't care about Oakland vs Houston now.
This week, more changes were introduced. Forced tension. Call it reality-tv for the postseason. It's scripted where the action is going to happen. It's scripted when it's going to happen. It's scripted what is going to happen. What is to say that they won't actually just extend it and script the actual outcome as long as they are at it? In essence, they already have.
Facts: A 2nd wild-card team will be added to each league with the opportunity to make the playoffs. The two wild-card teams will meet after the season's 162 games have completed and play one game. The winner of this one game, goes on to the Divisional playoffs. The one game will be played at the site of the wild-card team with the best record.
Aside, I will say that the one good thing to come out of this was that there will no longer be a restriction that the wild-card team cannot face a team from within it's own division. For that I approve. I digress.
Conjecture: The essence that has already been scripted is the inclusion of either the New York Yankees or the Boston Red Sox in every playoffs going forward. MLB was embarrassed last year when Boston failed to make the playoffs in the original system that was designed to get both the Yankees and Red Sox in every playoffs and they vowed they would not have a repeat. Ratings and Fox network demanded that either the Yankees or Red Sox be in the playoffs to recoup current financial commitment. The same way that Fox went to MLB and designed a way for a ratings increase to the All-Star game (winner gets home-field advantage in the World Series), I believe they went to MLB with this same proposal for the post-season.
Here is an actual scenario that could occur in 2012. American league team wins 116 games in the regular season (71.6%) and advances to the World series. Wild Card Team 2 (5th best record in the National league) qualifies for the playoffs with a record of 82-80 (50.6%) and advances to the World Series. National League wins the All-Star game. Wild Card team 2 will now host 4 home games and the American league team will host 3.
Seems to me that this is turning into Professional wrestling. The league sets the storyline, hires the actors, creates the tension/drama, hires the publicists (major media all-sport networks), allows the star actors to enhance their reputations (PED) while cracking down on the lower echelon players to perpetuate the idea of policing and brings the carnival like atmosphere's to multiple cities around the country. The variable factors? Percentage of players who won't follow the script (which can only be enforced when their production is lowered); Statistical anomalous years, overall fiscal economy.
5 years from now, if there comes a point where the Yankees or Red Sox are not making the playoffs, the number of teams will be adjusted, to whatever it takes, to make sure the Yankees and Red Sox are both in the playoffs every year.
This week, more changes were introduced. Forced tension. Call it reality-tv for the postseason. It's scripted where the action is going to happen. It's scripted when it's going to happen. It's scripted what is going to happen. What is to say that they won't actually just extend it and script the actual outcome as long as they are at it? In essence, they already have.
Facts: A 2nd wild-card team will be added to each league with the opportunity to make the playoffs. The two wild-card teams will meet after the season's 162 games have completed and play one game. The winner of this one game, goes on to the Divisional playoffs. The one game will be played at the site of the wild-card team with the best record.
Aside, I will say that the one good thing to come out of this was that there will no longer be a restriction that the wild-card team cannot face a team from within it's own division. For that I approve. I digress.
Conjecture: The essence that has already been scripted is the inclusion of either the New York Yankees or the Boston Red Sox in every playoffs going forward. MLB was embarrassed last year when Boston failed to make the playoffs in the original system that was designed to get both the Yankees and Red Sox in every playoffs and they vowed they would not have a repeat. Ratings and Fox network demanded that either the Yankees or Red Sox be in the playoffs to recoup current financial commitment. The same way that Fox went to MLB and designed a way for a ratings increase to the All-Star game (winner gets home-field advantage in the World Series), I believe they went to MLB with this same proposal for the post-season.
Here is an actual scenario that could occur in 2012. American league team wins 116 games in the regular season (71.6%) and advances to the World series. Wild Card Team 2 (5th best record in the National league) qualifies for the playoffs with a record of 82-80 (50.6%) and advances to the World Series. National League wins the All-Star game. Wild Card team 2 will now host 4 home games and the American league team will host 3.
Seems to me that this is turning into Professional wrestling. The league sets the storyline, hires the actors, creates the tension/drama, hires the publicists (major media all-sport networks), allows the star actors to enhance their reputations (PED) while cracking down on the lower echelon players to perpetuate the idea of policing and brings the carnival like atmosphere's to multiple cities around the country. The variable factors? Percentage of players who won't follow the script (which can only be enforced when their production is lowered); Statistical anomalous years, overall fiscal economy.
5 years from now, if there comes a point where the Yankees or Red Sox are not making the playoffs, the number of teams will be adjusted, to whatever it takes, to make sure the Yankees and Red Sox are both in the playoffs every year.
16 November 2011
Driving
On Thursday last week, I felt physically ill as I drove to work. The wave of nausea started when I turned the dial to ESPN radio.
The entire past week has been a lesson, for me, in parsing out information as it is released by various media outlets and tracking that information across multiple reporting sources. Each outlet appears to have an agenda during the news cycle and it comes across clearly during this crisis. The closer to the subject someone is, the more they want to protect.
On Tuesday night, Joe Paterno spoke outside his home to a gathering of students. He statement was videotaped and recorded. The full statement, courtesy of Deadspin.com, is as follows:
You guys have lived for this place. I've lived for people like you guys and girls. I'm just so happy to see that you feel so strongly about us and about our school. And as I said, I don't know if you heard me or not, is, you know, the kids who were victims or whatever they want to say, I think we all ought to say a prayer for them. It's a tough life when people do certain things to you. But anyway, you've been great. Everything's great, all right.
Deadspin did their own take on this at http://deadspin.com/5857944/whatever-they-want-to-say-how-media-outlets-handled-joe-paternos-weird-quote-last-night, but I found a different piece on Cnnsi.com - where the actual written word, in quotations, was never said. A citation in quotation should be an exact representation of the spoken word. A paraphrase is clearly visible to the user with the notable absence of quotation marks.
Compare the two segments and you can see what appears to be CNN agenda to protect Joe Paterno.
Deadspin: "And as I said, I don't know if you heard me or not, is, you know, the kids who were victims or whatever they want to say, I think we all ought to say a prayer for them.
CNN: "As you know, the kids that were the victims, I think we ought to say a prayer for them," Paterno said Tuesday night
"Or whatever they want to say". Leaving that out of the quote isn't merely editing. That's context obfuscation.
Now ESPN, which should I feel be renamed C-ESPN because there is not an item that comes out of their vast complex which does not appear to be compromised by corporate sponsors or partnerships. There is no worrying about whether boundaries should be crossed because they simply do not exist.
I have listened to the morning show enough times to know that it is a scripted presence with even the arguments rehearsed down to the rebuttals. There is not an ounce of spontaneity from the show. For that reason alone, it is hard to digest.
Today was worse. Bill Callahan, a former college coach, a former NFL coach was on the air. You can find their podcast online, but he was staunchly defending Joe Paterno. Saying he was a man because he owned up to his mistakes post-release of the grand jury testimony and when he said 'In hindsight I wish could have done more'. We should all say a prayer for the kids.' I'm paraphrasing but he said 'That's what man does. A man owns up to his mistakes'
Joe Paterno
Joe Paterno is a man who lied to the public with his faux grief for the kids.
Joe Paterno is a man who has known about the allegations since 1998.
Joe Paterno is a man who testified before a grand jury in 2009 about these circumstances. And still professed shock in 2011.
Joe Paterno could have said 'We should all say a prayer for the kids' in 1998. He didn't.
Joe Paterno could have said 'We should all say a prayer for the kids' in 2002. He didn't.
Joe Paterno could have said 'We should all say a prayer for the kids' in 2007. He didn't.
Joe Paterno could have said We should all say a prayer for the kids' in 2009. He didn't.
Joe Paterno could have said 'We should all say a prayer for the kids' every day in 2011 up to November 3 and he chose not too.
An active decision to not say a prayer for the kids. Only after, in hindsight when grand jury testimony forces his hand, when it means absolutely nothing, does he say 'We should all say a prayer for the kids'
I'm waiting. I'm waiting. I'm waiting for the hosts to call him out on this. You have to. You have to call this guest out, no matter your in-bed partnership with him. You have to stand up to him and say 'Bill I disagree with you. Joe was not man enough. If he was, he would have done something in 1998 and not waited until grand jury testimony was made public.'
But nothing. The bile rises in my throat and I can't listen any more. In the depths of this crisis, the hosts follow the corporate line and remain silent as the guest contains down a path I no longer care about. His voice is just noise now.
At the end of the interview, a final kiss on the lips and a loving hug from the hosts, the we'll always have each other in this corporate bedroom as he gets off the phone.
'Thank you Bill for coming on today. You know we love you'
Later on I hear Todd Christensen, a Penn State Alum on Tuesday before the firing, what do you think should be done about Joe Paterno? Should he be fired? Fired right now?
In paraphrase, 'Ahh, oh. That's a tough one. Really tough one. I don't have an answer for that.' What I think he really meant was "I have to work with this man or those around him in the future. I need that access to Penn State. I can't have this blared all over the internet that I called for him to be fired. What will people think about me?
Yes. Because it's all about you Todd Christensen.
29 October 2011
Notes
-Normally I don't get nostalgic or melancholy about small rural Eastern-European cities. But this week I did and in an unexpected way. On the show Bizarre Foods, the host travels to Hungary. Well, I've lived there so the hook is in. Let's see where this goes. He starts in Buda, travels to the Pest side and keeps talking about the bizarre foods upcoming. I'm hoping he heads out of the city for real bizarre foods. But it's like hoping the CEO at your company won't get a 20% raise while layoffs are happening in your division. He could go to Pécs or Táborfalva or Lake Balaton or Kaposvár or speed through Taszár. They had abandoned factories, Trabant's, deep rich awful coffee and drunks keeping the bars open during the day too. He stays, tells a good story but I'm left still hoping he makes it out of the city.
-Sleep paralysis is something I've had all my life. The constricting feeling as you lay in bed of not being able to wake up and not go to sleep and not able to move is awful. Sheer panic sets in as you struggle for either option. Add in the hallucinations that occur leave you screaming at the top of your lungs for someone to help you wake up. In these cases I've heard footsteps coming down the stairs and pass by, seen a little old lady troll at the end of the couch with mole on her chin and knives in her hand cackling at me. Then slowly walk up my chest and get closer to my neck with the knives. I've seen a murderer come into my house go upstairs to my kids bedrooms with a shotgun and I lay there helpless. I hear the back door open as he leaves and finally I can wake up. My only consolation that it didn't happen is that it wasn't my kids weekend with me. They were at their mom's.
In all these times I've known that it is coming and can't do anything about it. Last night was different though. Last night it didn't happen until I woke up. My prior dream was about a long lost girlfriend who I'd just recently run in to. Letting me stay at her place while I was in town but being very overly devoted to her husband. Over conversations with her brothers, a radio report came in that there was a car accident that killed a local football team. The conversation turned to the real accident that happened in Indiana where a family on their way to a funeral was rammed and 7 people were killed - http://www.dailyherald.com/article/20111028/news/710289884/. When I brought up the dream accident, everyone looked away and wouldn't talk to me or look me in the eye. Later I inferred they were looking away because I was in the accident. That's where the dream ended. As I wake up, the hallucination happened as an invisible set of feet of a 1 year old baby stood on my hip, ran down my leg and off into the ether.
-Sleep paralysis is something I've had all my life. The constricting feeling as you lay in bed of not being able to wake up and not go to sleep and not able to move is awful. Sheer panic sets in as you struggle for either option. Add in the hallucinations that occur leave you screaming at the top of your lungs for someone to help you wake up. In these cases I've heard footsteps coming down the stairs and pass by, seen a little old lady troll at the end of the couch with mole on her chin and knives in her hand cackling at me. Then slowly walk up my chest and get closer to my neck with the knives. I've seen a murderer come into my house go upstairs to my kids bedrooms with a shotgun and I lay there helpless. I hear the back door open as he leaves and finally I can wake up. My only consolation that it didn't happen is that it wasn't my kids weekend with me. They were at their mom's.
In all these times I've known that it is coming and can't do anything about it. Last night was different though. Last night it didn't happen until I woke up. My prior dream was about a long lost girlfriend who I'd just recently run in to. Letting me stay at her place while I was in town but being very overly devoted to her husband. Over conversations with her brothers, a radio report came in that there was a car accident that killed a local football team. The conversation turned to the real accident that happened in Indiana where a family on their way to a funeral was rammed and 7 people were killed - http://www.dailyherald.com/article/20111028/news/710289884/. When I brought up the dream accident, everyone looked away and wouldn't talk to me or look me in the eye. Later I inferred they were looking away because I was in the accident. That's where the dream ended. As I wake up, the hallucination happened as an invisible set of feet of a 1 year old baby stood on my hip, ran down my leg and off into the ether.
24 October 2011
Notes
-Picked up the new book by Chuck Palahniuk, found Phil Hendrie podcasts, new album by Tom Waits hits this week.
-On the drive to work, I plug in to the Phil Hendrie show on Podcast and it makes the commute painless. Over the weekend, I sat and listened to part of the show with my son and I had to fight to hold back the truth about the show. Let him figure it out on his own.
-On the way home, the homeless guy underneath the underpass at Damen and Webster approaches my car at the stop sign. Doesn't say anything. Just stands there like he's guarding the sign with his cart full of cans. I ease forward and in the rear view mirror he's no longer by the sign. He's made his way over the concrete barrier and has made his bed.
-On the way to the haunted house with my kids and their friends,stop at McDonald's drive thru. Actually break down and go through the drive thru no matter how much I hate it. A guy in a Packers jersey and baseball cap backwards approaches my car while I'm paying. 'Can you help me out? My wife is over there on the corner and our car just broke down. We need someone to help me fix a flat.' Normally I don't stop. Too many propositions at the L or Blockbuster when they existed. Guilt? No. I don't feel it. Just confidence that I'm doing the right thing. I mean, if your car breaks down and you are with your family, is your first thought to hit up the people waiting in line at the fast food restaurant? At the corner I see one woman waiting for...the bus.
-On the drive to work, I plug in to the Phil Hendrie show on Podcast and it makes the commute painless. Over the weekend, I sat and listened to part of the show with my son and I had to fight to hold back the truth about the show. Let him figure it out on his own.
-On the way home, the homeless guy underneath the underpass at Damen and Webster approaches my car at the stop sign. Doesn't say anything. Just stands there like he's guarding the sign with his cart full of cans. I ease forward and in the rear view mirror he's no longer by the sign. He's made his way over the concrete barrier and has made his bed.
-On the way to the haunted house with my kids and their friends,stop at McDonald's drive thru. Actually break down and go through the drive thru no matter how much I hate it. A guy in a Packers jersey and baseball cap backwards approaches my car while I'm paying. 'Can you help me out? My wife is over there on the corner and our car just broke down. We need someone to help me fix a flat.' Normally I don't stop. Too many propositions at the L or Blockbuster when they existed. Guilt? No. I don't feel it. Just confidence that I'm doing the right thing. I mean, if your car breaks down and you are with your family, is your first thought to hit up the people waiting in line at the fast food restaurant? At the corner I see one woman waiting for...the bus.
08 October 2011
Esquire
Recently Esquire magazine posted a short story competition. Very short. Every story submitted must be exactly 78 words. The issue for me wasn't finding a story that short it was deciding which one to submit. These two didn't make the cut:
1) It's about the next time. Trudging past the cars tonight. Daylight heading past accountability. I move slow and with no purpose. End result brings no joy. No faith. New faces appear on the side of the road looking for the next meal. Every hand out wishes it was someplace else and every eye averted wish too. I feel nothing as I pass. No sorrow. No pity. Only angst, exhaustion and ambivalence. Next time I will stop seeing them.
2)
Ground level shot on an empty pill bottle. Tight close-up of the writing on the bottle reads 1000 mg, 24 capsules, 2 refills. Slow zoom out and four other bottles come in to view. Mid-level shot of all bottles and they lead to a bedroom door. Light appears in the vacant space below. Scuffling can be heard. Somebody is falling. A crash happens, a lamp breaks, a light bulb explodes and the light under the door goes out.
1) It's about the next time. Trudging past the cars tonight. Daylight heading past accountability. I move slow and with no purpose. End result brings no joy. No faith. New faces appear on the side of the road looking for the next meal. Every hand out wishes it was someplace else and every eye averted wish too. I feel nothing as I pass. No sorrow. No pity. Only angst, exhaustion and ambivalence. Next time I will stop seeing them.
2)
Ground level shot on an empty pill bottle. Tight close-up of the writing on the bottle reads 1000 mg, 24 capsules, 2 refills. Slow zoom out and four other bottles come in to view. Mid-level shot of all bottles and they lead to a bedroom door. Light appears in the vacant space below. Scuffling can be heard. Somebody is falling. A crash happens, a lamp breaks, a light bulb explodes and the light under the door goes out.
01 October 2011
Best of...
Live music in Chicago - The Hideout. Catch Robbie Fulks every Monday night.
Best live theatre - Neo Futurarium at Foster and Ashland in Chicago. Catch the main show Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind or any show for that matter. Buy their t-shirts and hope you go on a night when they order out for free pizza for the entire audience.
Best military deployment - Tie between basic training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina and Operation Joint Endeavor in Taszar/Kaposvar, Hungary.
Best rock concert and also the best weekend spent on $50 - 1995. Rolling Stones at Strahov Stadium, Prague, Czech Republic. All food, all drinks, all transportation from Germany and back. Plus the two beautiful women who showed me around Prague. And no they weren't hookers.
Best Burger - You can't get it anymore but for a time it was and remains #1. To get it you had to make the trek up the 250+ steps to the top of Mount Baldhead in Saugatuck, Michigan, down the sand dune, up the sand dune and out to Lake Michigan. Spend 4 hours in the sun and surf and the ripping waves. Fall asleep on the beach and then get hungry. Head up the wooden steps and up the to the concession stand. With the sun beating down on your back, the taste of sand, sweat and suntan lotion in your mouth, order the cheeseburger. One for you and one for someone else. Either your kid or just grab somebody else to share because you can't really enjoy it without sharing just how good it tastes. Kuma's Corner on Belmont in Chicago is on the verge but hasn't made it yet.
Best proliferation of a food chain that is actually comforting - Einstein Brother's Bagels now serving at the Southport, Belmont and Diversey L stops.
Best writing assignment - You might think getting to cover the Bill Clinton arrival at Taszar, Hungary along with sharing a flatbed with Dan Rather or covering the Bill Clinton arrival at the Boy Scout Jamboree at Fort A.P.Hill, Virginia. But in actuality it was opportunity to write a regular column for the long ago military newspaper American Endeavor. The freedom to have creativity in a command situation was unbelievable. I thank my Staff Sergeant and Captain for giving me the opportunity.
Best live theatre - Neo Futurarium at Foster and Ashland in Chicago. Catch the main show Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind or any show for that matter. Buy their t-shirts and hope you go on a night when they order out for free pizza for the entire audience.
Best military deployment - Tie between basic training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina and Operation Joint Endeavor in Taszar/Kaposvar, Hungary.
Best rock concert and also the best weekend spent on $50 - 1995. Rolling Stones at Strahov Stadium, Prague, Czech Republic. All food, all drinks, all transportation from Germany and back. Plus the two beautiful women who showed me around Prague. And no they weren't hookers.
Best Burger - You can't get it anymore but for a time it was and remains #1. To get it you had to make the trek up the 250+ steps to the top of Mount Baldhead in Saugatuck, Michigan, down the sand dune, up the sand dune and out to Lake Michigan. Spend 4 hours in the sun and surf and the ripping waves. Fall asleep on the beach and then get hungry. Head up the wooden steps and up the to the concession stand. With the sun beating down on your back, the taste of sand, sweat and suntan lotion in your mouth, order the cheeseburger. One for you and one for someone else. Either your kid or just grab somebody else to share because you can't really enjoy it without sharing just how good it tastes. Kuma's Corner on Belmont in Chicago is on the verge but hasn't made it yet.
Best proliferation of a food chain that is actually comforting - Einstein Brother's Bagels now serving at the Southport, Belmont and Diversey L stops.
Best writing assignment - You might think getting to cover the Bill Clinton arrival at Taszar, Hungary along with sharing a flatbed with Dan Rather or covering the Bill Clinton arrival at the Boy Scout Jamboree at Fort A.P.Hill, Virginia. But in actuality it was opportunity to write a regular column for the long ago military newspaper American Endeavor. The freedom to have creativity in a command situation was unbelievable. I thank my Staff Sergeant and Captain for giving me the opportunity.
19 June 2011
Einbahnstraße
On the way to the next stop I found a place to grow.
In my heart. In my mind and my place in the world.
Secure in that, I took the next step.
In my heart. In my mind and my place in the world.
Secure in that, I took the next step.
30 May 2011
Einbahnstraße
Diner's last night music
Days pass and though it remains closed we still visitThe first one at 5, quick pass
24 with a cold beer at 2, eggs over-easy
38 buying milkshakes for three and crayons
59 is where you go after the funeral. Food you can't really taste, don't want to eat and give up after two bites. Just coffee.
75 every morning. Just coffee. Black with your cigarettes.
Tuesday nights were a Jazz trio and Thursday's and Jazz quartet. Then a fourth nite was added for Blue grass/Western music. Now it's a single guitar player on Monday nights, karoke on Friday's and heavy metal on Sunday's.
Barto mopped the floor after the door was closed and put up the notice. He rolled out the jukebox from the closet, sat down and listened. Door locked. Power out. Come Monday they won't remember the last song playing "Spare Parts II and Closing" by Waits and Weiss
29 May 2011
Einbahnstraße
Everything must go
At sunrise there is a pauseAt sunset there is a pause
In between there is nothing. There is nothing you can do.
28 May 2011
Einbahnstraße
Fairly
Or at all. She bent down to meet my face and ignited feelings of condescension. We touched without opening our eyes and heard the shift toward not to.
As the country meanders toward...Really? Is this how it is going to be for the next year and a half? Meandering towards a goal nobody really seems to want without an outcome that almost seems fait accompli? Three years ago this country was in the throes. It has actually been more than three years. Declaration of intents started in December 2006. Change was wanted and warranted. But in reality it is not a drop kick.
--6 months from now we are sitting at a table flush with food. Drinks are served, awkward conversations with people you see once a year and less if you can avoid it.
--1 year from now and the parties have chosen. 2 candidates are ready to make their mark
--2 years from now
--5 years from now
--10 years from now. Rules enacted to great fanfare are turned aside on page 7 of the paper as they are repealed.
--6 months from now we are sitting at a table flush with food. Drinks are served, awkward conversations with people you see once a year and less if you can avoid it.
--1 year from now and the parties have chosen. 2 candidates are ready to make their mark
--2 years from now
--5 years from now
--10 years from now. Rules enacted to great fanfare are turned aside on page 7 of the paper as they are repealed.
19 July 2010
Trio
1 -
That's not it. That's not how it goes.
Who said there was a rul..
I did. I fucking did. I make the rules in my life and you follow them or you get the hell out of my way.
Don't you think you need to calm down just a little? Don't you think you are overreacting?
No. Not one bit. Do you know what it feels like to be addicted? Do you? Do you know what it feels like to be addicted and not be able to do anything about it but continue to feed the addiction day after day after a long night? My life is a damn mess. I move from one addiction to a recovery and into another addiction to beat the next one. Booze to come down from cocaine. Sex to come down from heroin. Exercise to come down from theft. Marriage to come down from the hookups and back to affairs to end the monotony of monogamy.
I can't deal with this.
Who said you had to?
I've been with your for over 5 years now and supported you and stood by you, but not any more.
What made you stay so long? Pleasant conversation? My good looks? I haven't loved for a long time and you shouldn't need me to say it to your face to know that. When you walk in the door night after night and I walk right by you into the garage till the next morning and you don't do a goddamn thing? What kind of person are you to take that? Just go. Go back to your job. Go back to raising your kids and leave me alone.
2 -
Ah, yes.
Can I help you?
Yes. I'm here to join the church.
What church are you coming from?
Coming from? None. No. No. You misunderstand me. I heard about your church and how you can have multiple wives and stuff, so I want you to hook me up with a couple.
I'm sorry, but you are in the wrong place. We are not that type of organization and that practice is...
Look. I know that's what you say to the press and to the police, but I've seen the compounds. I've seen the tv shows. I know it goes on and I just want a couple wives. Not together you know. One in New York and one in California. Because I go back a forth a lot. That's how it works right? You can get me a wife in both places and cover it up from the cops so they won't charge me with any crimes.
Sir. You're going to have to leave. You really have the wrong information. Whatever you have heard or read or seen has been a lie.
Tweerp.
Excuse me?
Tweerp. Basket. Five
Sir?
Tweerp. Basket. Five. Thousand.
Ok then. We are in business. If you'll just go around the corner and through that door. Doris will be able to show you around and let you meet some of the congregation. Bless you son and welcome.
3 -
It's about time. Trudging past the cars tonight. Daylight heading past accountability. I move slow and with no purpose. End result brings no joy. Brings no faith. New faces appear on the side of the road looking for the next meal. Every hand out wishes it was someplace else and every eyes averted wish they were too. I feel nothing as I pass. No sorrow. No pity. The worst kind of feeling - ambivalence.
That's not it. That's not how it goes.
Who said there was a rul..
I did. I fucking did. I make the rules in my life and you follow them or you get the hell out of my way.
Don't you think you need to calm down just a little? Don't you think you are overreacting?
No. Not one bit. Do you know what it feels like to be addicted? Do you? Do you know what it feels like to be addicted and not be able to do anything about it but continue to feed the addiction day after day after a long night? My life is a damn mess. I move from one addiction to a recovery and into another addiction to beat the next one. Booze to come down from cocaine. Sex to come down from heroin. Exercise to come down from theft. Marriage to come down from the hookups and back to affairs to end the monotony of monogamy.
I can't deal with this.
Who said you had to?
I've been with your for over 5 years now and supported you and stood by you, but not any more.
What made you stay so long? Pleasant conversation? My good looks? I haven't loved for a long time and you shouldn't need me to say it to your face to know that. When you walk in the door night after night and I walk right by you into the garage till the next morning and you don't do a goddamn thing? What kind of person are you to take that? Just go. Go back to your job. Go back to raising your kids and leave me alone.
2 -
Ah, yes.
Can I help you?
Yes. I'm here to join the church.
What church are you coming from?
Coming from? None. No. No. You misunderstand me. I heard about your church and how you can have multiple wives and stuff, so I want you to hook me up with a couple.
I'm sorry, but you are in the wrong place. We are not that type of organization and that practice is...
Look. I know that's what you say to the press and to the police, but I've seen the compounds. I've seen the tv shows. I know it goes on and I just want a couple wives. Not together you know. One in New York and one in California. Because I go back a forth a lot. That's how it works right? You can get me a wife in both places and cover it up from the cops so they won't charge me with any crimes.
Sir. You're going to have to leave. You really have the wrong information. Whatever you have heard or read or seen has been a lie.
Tweerp.
Excuse me?
Tweerp. Basket. Five
Sir?
Tweerp. Basket. Five. Thousand.
Ok then. We are in business. If you'll just go around the corner and through that door. Doris will be able to show you around and let you meet some of the congregation. Bless you son and welcome.
3 -
It's about time. Trudging past the cars tonight. Daylight heading past accountability. I move slow and with no purpose. End result brings no joy. Brings no faith. New faces appear on the side of the road looking for the next meal. Every hand out wishes it was someplace else and every eyes averted wish they were too. I feel nothing as I pass. No sorrow. No pity. The worst kind of feeling - ambivalence.
16 July 2010
It just is
A family I know is going through some times. Multiple cancers in the family history and now a terminal one in the present. Divorce of a child who by all means cannot take care of himself. But this family comes from a strong religious background steeped in prayer and by all views from afar, a chaste life. A moral life.
You say to no one in particular. 'They are such a religious and pious family. How can this happen to them? Weren't their prayers answered?' The thing is, just because you pray and believe in a religious figure, it doesn't give you immunity from life. Bad situations are going to happen to everyone. Had this family had no religious background, you might be saying 'See it serves them right. If they had been in church praying this whole time instead of out...well you know. It wouldn't have happened' Just exactly how do you know that? If I take two people and line them up against the wall. Fire bullets dead center into both. One on the left is the Pope. One on the right is a homeless man holding a bottle of Jack Daniels, a pack of cigarettes and pulling his grocery cart of life. Both men are going to die. The bullets will not be deflected by the Pope's prayers. Nor will homeless man's obliviousness to the situation.
That is what I struggle with on a daily basis and realize just how lucky I am not to have to need to fall back on deity to get me through the day. When I am out of work, will the phone magically ring because I want it to? When I can't make the payment for the car, will the money just show up on my doorstep like some cobbler fairy tale? No. It won't and life should not be led with the expectation of the unexpected.
You say to no one in particular. 'They are such a religious and pious family. How can this happen to them? Weren't their prayers answered?' The thing is, just because you pray and believe in a religious figure, it doesn't give you immunity from life. Bad situations are going to happen to everyone. Had this family had no religious background, you might be saying 'See it serves them right. If they had been in church praying this whole time instead of out...well you know. It wouldn't have happened' Just exactly how do you know that? If I take two people and line them up against the wall. Fire bullets dead center into both. One on the left is the Pope. One on the right is a homeless man holding a bottle of Jack Daniels, a pack of cigarettes and pulling his grocery cart of life. Both men are going to die. The bullets will not be deflected by the Pope's prayers. Nor will homeless man's obliviousness to the situation.
That is what I struggle with on a daily basis and realize just how lucky I am not to have to need to fall back on deity to get me through the day. When I am out of work, will the phone magically ring because I want it to? When I can't make the payment for the car, will the money just show up on my doorstep like some cobbler fairy tale? No. It won't and life should not be led with the expectation of the unexpected.
15 July 2010
You decide
You are in line at a traffic light facing East. Cars in front and cars behind. Your two children are strapped into their car seats in the back seat. As you wait, a car headed South goes out of control in traffic, flips and is headed straight for your car. You know for a fact that this car is going to come down on top of your car and kill all the occupants. You see it coming and have a 3 second window to make a decision. Immediately bolt out of the car and save your life but not your kids or stay in the car and die with your children. Which do you choose?
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